Kebab Theft Sends Shockwaves Through Europe

Drunken louts make off with Mr Rashid’s kebab

Disturbing news, döner fans. Forget the Eurozone crisis: something of even more monstrous proportions took place in the early hours of Friday 15th June – something which has since sent shockwaves through the world of the kebab. Between 1am and 2am on Friday night, two thieves broke into Mr Azher Rashid’s Kebab Mahal restaurant on Dalkeith High Street near Edinburgh and made off with 70lb of frozen döner meat. A number of other meat-related delicacies were also pilfered. While the Daily Mail and the Mirror featured this heart-breaking story, many of the UK’s supposedly more respectable newspapers failed to give this heinous crime the attention it deserves. It is left to bloggers such as myself to highlight the seriousness of this event, and to dispel any notions that this theft is in any way amusing. Our thoughts are with Mr Rashid at this difficult time.

Frozen logs of kebab meat similar to that taken by thieves

Karma was evidently in play that night however, as one of the thieves got his comeuppance when he dropped the frozen log of döner meat on his foot. Upon viewing CCTV footage of the burglary, Mr Rashid cast doubt on the thieves’ intelligence, noting that they had ignored the till, which was full of cash, as well as the expensive computer equipment which had also been present in the same room. They had, it seems, been intent solely on purloining Mr Rashid’s döner meat. In truth we have all felt similar urges, döner fans, when the need for a kebab grows overwhelming – but we must keep these desires in check! Such crimes cannot be tolerated in the döner community. The suspects made off into the Scottish night with their ill-gotten gains, and have yet to be identified. Mr Rashid was distressed to recount that the pillar of döner meat would however quickly defrost, and without means to cook it the criminals had probably dumped it somewhere. It is yet to be found. This is Dr Döner, urging you to stay vigilant against any similar criminal activity in your area.

Pay your respects at http://www.kebabmahal.co.uk/

Images sourced from The Daily Record and www.myheimat.de

Mısır Çarşısı, Skalitzer Str. 134

Mısır Çarşısı from the street

Hello, döner fans. Last Friday evening I was out and about with some work friends in Kreuzberg, after watching the England-Sweden game. The night was pulling us in two directions: did we go for a quiet drink somewhere in the area, or did we push on further and go to Club der Visionäre? One thing was for certain, though: we needed a kebab. The first place to present itself was the Mısır Çarşısı on Skalitzer Straße, next to U-Bahn station Kottbusser Tor – a famous location for fast-food joints and cheap snacks. Girding my loins, I went inside.

 

The Mısır Çarşısı in Istanbul

Mısır Çarşısı is Turkish for ‘Egyptian Market’, named after the famous covered bazaar of the same name in Istanbul. Istanbul’s Egyptian Market is a thriving place of hustle and bustle where you can buy all sorts of exciting and colourful things, from luxurious Turkish pashminas to sachets of sweet-smelling spices. Similarly, the Mısır Çarşısı kebab shop on Skalitzer Straße is also a lively sort of place, but by contrast all you can buy is fast food. I ordered a Lahmacun (Turkish pizza) with döner-meat and salad, and the sauces were garlic and chilli. This particular establishment proudly makes all its Turkish pizza fresh on site, and the end result is indeed very tasty. I got a colleague to photograph a juicy-looking cross-section of the kebab while we waited on the platform for the U-Bahn.

 

A kebab, and other delights

As you can see a manicured hand has crept into the background of the photograph, no doubt belonging to some wastrel of the night who happened to be roaming the U-Bahn stations of Berlin that Friday. We may never know the true identity of its owner. Anyway, when the U-Bahn arrived we went on to Club der Visionäre and had a thoroughly good night. Always start your night out on a kebab, döner fans! Valuable advice from Dr Döner – your kebab specialist in the field. Until next time! xx

Results for Mısır Çarşısı:

Service: 4/5 (friendly and efficient)

Atmosphere: 3/5 (open and inviting)

Price: 3/5 (standard)

Taste: 4/5 (very tasty)

You can find details of Mısır Çarşısı on their website at http://www.misircarsisi.de/MisirCarsisi.html

Non-original images sourced from imposemagazine.com and flickr.com

The World’s Largest Kebab (Dünyanın en büyük döneri)

The Largest Kebab

Breaking news, döner fans – the Aba Piknik kebab team in Ankara just smashed the world record for the largest ever döner. At 1198 kg this is a truly monstrous creation, looming in all its meaty glory over Ankara’s Youth Park (Gençlik Parkı). It has been officially entered into the Guinness Book of Records as the largest kebab ever.

An example of an Aba Piknik restaurant

After being weighed and measured, the 5 metre high tower of meat was served up for free to spectators in the park. The giant kebab apparently cost the lives of seven cows. Was it worth it? Who can say for sure. In any case, the kebab has now been entirely consumed and the only evidence left is a few glistening images from the internet. Rumours persist of an even bigger kebab built in 2005, however, which was erected at Melike Döner restaurant somewhere along the road from Bursa to Mudanya – this legendary meaty monolith is said to have weighed 2698 kg, which is surely a creative feat of insane proportions. It is not clear whether this will also get an entry in the Guinness Book of Records. But one thing is for sure: I wouldn’t like to be caught under either of them if they fell over. This is Dr Döner, bringing you the biggest kebab-related headlines from around the world. Eat safe.

The winners gather around their creation

Tebrik ederim Aba Piknik! (Congrats to Aba Piknik)

Images sourced from haberturk.com, abapiknik.com.tr and ilgazetesi.com.tr

Alexanderplatz

An example of chicken dürüm from Alexanderplatz

Yesterday I had a really nice kebab which I got from Alexanderplatz. The kebab shop is located in the underpass which leads to the U-bahn, close to the steps which lead back up to the main building, and I often eat there because it’s on the way home from work. I usually buy a ‘chicken dürüm’ (the connoisseur’s choice) – standard order is garlic sauce and spicy sauce, with all salad except the red cabbage. At this particular kebab shop they also add feta cheese on request, which counteracts the spiciness of the sauce nicely. At €3,50 altogether this is fairly standard-priced. The staff are generally friendly and the service is quick and efficient. One thing to watch when ordering chicken is that it tends to be less in demand than normal ‘döner meat’, which sometimes means that chicken which has already been sliced might have been sitting there for a while and has gone a bit dry and crusty. So WATCH OUT, döner fans. Yesterday I deviated from my standard choice and got a chicken döner instead of a chicken dürüm, and was slightly disappointed to learn that the cheese does not come free with the döner. Cheese is only free with the dürüm. Apart from that the meal was very satisfactory though. Results are below (each score is out of 5).

Service: 4/5 (friendly and efficient)

Atmosphere: 2/5 (busy train station, not meant for its atmosphere)

Price: 3/5 (standard)

Taste: 4/5 (very tasty)