Holiday Kebab

Hello Döner Fans. In this dirty, hectic world of ours we must all permit ourselves a holiday once in a while. And it was on such a convalescent trip that the events of this tale unfolded. Yes, a few weeks ago Dr Döner took a well-deserved break from the daily grind and jetted off to exotic lands to relieve the stress of the working world. Alas! The world of work did not relinquish its grip so easily, and before long the need to describe kebabs came upon me once again. It was while strolling down the picturesque streets of Edinburgh that my eyes were drawn to the charming red paintwork of “Uncle’s” fast food joint, selling such local delights as fish & chips, pizza and, of course, kebabs.

The fair city of Edinburgh, viewed from a nearby hill

I moved inside and ordered what was termed a “small doner” [sic]. For the kingly price of £4.00 I was already sceptical as to the credentials of this establishment. The gentleman behind the counter, who I assume was the eponymous “Uncle”, inquired whether I wanted my kebab on naan bread or in a wrap. Imagine his delight, Döner Fans – just imagine! – when I replied that I wished it in the form of a dürüm. “Where are you from?” he demanded. “Berlin,” I replied. “Ah yes,” he said wisely, “there are many dürüms in Berlin.” From that point on, a firm friendship was established.

Uncle's fast food joint, viewed from a pedestrian island

I was cautious to avoid the white cabbage which lay among the range of salad on offer. Cabbage of any sort does not belong in the repertoire of a kebab purveyor, Döner Fans. Anyway, slathering my dürüm in swathes of garlic and chilli sauce and digging an Irn Bru out of the fridge, Uncle handed me my kebab and I retreated to a local park to consume it.

A mighty kebab and a can of Irn Bru

I have eaten kebabs in the UK before. I will not go into the time, in Oxford, when some charlatan of a kebab-man proceeded to fry the salad before my very eyes. In brief, many of the kebabs available in the UK are quite frankly shameful. But this kebab that I ate that day was something of a rare delight. It tasted very fine indeed! Yes, the meat was sliced more thickly than in Berlin. Yes, it was spiced differently. But this very difference was perhaps the reason for its charm. I consumed it with gusto and, sitting on the pleasant lawns of the Edinburgh Meadows, I considered myself a very lucky individual. If I am ever back in the Scottish capital I will be sure to visit again, Uncle!

Results

Service: 4/5 (very friendly)

Atmosphere: 3/5 (nice, but nothing special)

Price: 2/5 (expensive)

Taste: 4/5 (very tasty!)

Photography courtesy of Ms. K. McQueen