Dear readers. I will keep this short, for I have a bad taste in my mouth. I was in Glasgow on business last weekend, and as business demanded I was dragged out to explore the city’s nightlife. Needless to say, these adventures ended with a search for kebab. As I have mentioned before, kebabs in the UK are notoriously bad. There are few things quite so ball-squeezingly awful, if you’ll pardon my turn of phrase, as the sad, soggy offerings of British kebab vendors. Indeed it is hard to find the mot-juste to describe such an experience. I regret that I nonetheless purchased a kebab on that cold and rainy night, in full knowledge of the consequences. Towards 1am, a fellow reveller and I stumbled into the neon clutches of Café India and I ordered a Small Doner for the princely sum of £4.50.
The establishment in which we found ourselves had taken measures to stamp their own personal touch onto the classic döner meal and had chosen to serve their sweaty, non-descript meat in Indian bread fresh from the oven. A few sad bits of salad were strewn over the rapidly-congealing mass and a rude squirt of garlic sauce was then farted onto it out of a big plastic dispenser. This was all packaged into a sticky polystyrene box and promptly handed over. I took it home, opened it, and it was disgusting. Perhaps the images speak for themselves. I leave you a disgruntled, bitter man and hope that this post will serve to help others learn from my mistakes.
Service: 3/5 (fine)
Atmosphere: 1/5 (grim)
Price: 1/5 (rip-off)
Taste: 1/5 (horrible)
photography courtesy of Mr. J. Henderson