Stop press! I am not even joking, Döner Fans. It takes a lot to impress Dr Döner these days – he has eaten his fair share of dross over the years – but the kebab I ate on Friday night came close to a religious experience. Does Dr Döner believe in a God? If he does then there was certainly an element of transubstantiation in that kebab. I am not even sure how to put this into words. However, I will do my best to give a written account of what happened. Let me begin. I was cruising the mean streets of Wedding again, on the hunt for new döner experiences. The unassuming shop front of Dedecan Gemüsekebab on Luxemburger Straße enticed me in and I ordered a dürüm from the kebab man. He was an elderly chap with a bushy, white moustache, who looked like he had seen kebab trends come and go and lived to tell the tale.
He started slicing up the chicken meat and the roast vegetables, lovingly sprinkling them with some mystery herbs, and started adding layer upon layer of this mouth-watering mix onto the dürüm wrap. Layer upon layer – I thought it wouldn’t end. This had to be the fattest, most meat-laden kebab I’d ever seen. Then came the salad. I was delighted to see that red cabbage – that leper of the salad community – was not even available as an option. Chilli and garlic sauce were carefully applied, before a helping of crumbling, white feta cheese was added, followed by a squeeze of fresh lemon and a pinch of the smoky, red, Turkish sumac herb. All of this barely fitted inside the wrap as the kebab man knowledgeably rolled it into its final form and handed it over. The dürüm felt heavy with anticipated kebab pleasure. And all this for only 3 euros? It was too good to be true. I saw in his face that the kebab man knew he had once again crafted a thing of beauty. He smiled the easy smile of a man satisfied with his work – the same smile one might imagine seeing on the lips of Stradivarius when he finished one of his violins. When I devoured the kebab back in the hallowed walls of Döner HQ, I was almost moved to shed thick garlicky tears of joy at the moistness of the flavours. It was almost too big to be humanly consumed… Almost. But I managed.
Service: 4/5 (professional)
Atmosphere: 4/5 (quite pleasant for sitting)
Price: 5/5 (I would gladly have paid double)
Taste: 5/5 (oh my god)
Photography courtesy of Ms K McQueen