Famous Kebab Quotes

Many famous people have spoken or written about the kebab. Authors, politicians, philosophers… Everyone wants to chip in their ha’penny’s worth. Ranging from the trite to the deeply moving, a selection of the best kebab-related quotations has been arranged below, so read on and fill your arsenal of anecdotes with some of these handy conversation-starters. Enjoy!

“If I had a pound for every kebab I’ve eaten, the economy would be in a better state.”

-Gordon Brown


“There will not be peace until access to the kebab is universal.”

-Kofi Annan


“I believe I once tried a kebab. As I remember it was a large one.”

-David Cameron


“One must acknowledge the contribution that the kebab has made to this nation.”

-Queen Elizabeth II


“She had a f*nny like a badly-packed kebab.”

-Frankie Boyle


“And the LORD said ‘place the meat upon a spit, that the multitude may eat of it. I am the LORD’.”

-God, The Bible


“Red cabbage in a kebab is like a gunshot in the middle of a concert: a vulgar affair, yet something that is impossible to ignore. We are about to speak of very ugly matters.”



“Our words are just crumbs that fall down from the kebab of the mind.”

-Kahlil Gibran


“Dumbledore fixed him with an urgent stare: ‘Harry, the final Horcrux is in this kebab. If you eat it then He Who Cannot Be Named will die’.”

-J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter Part VI

Stendahl - a well-known lover of the kebab

Kebab Quotes Part II

Readers have been requesting another round-up of all the döner-related quotes that have been collected since the last trawl through current affairs and popular culture. It’s almost unbelievable how often kebabs have been on the minds of prominent figures, or featured on the pages of well-known literary classics. And yet when you look, the evidence is there. Do feel free to send in any of your own quotes that you have overheard, Döner Fans. They might even make it onto the blog.


“The evidence available at the time suggested that the kebabs could be ready and delivered in under 45 minutes.”

-Tony Blair


“Independence will make kebab-shop owners better off not just in Scotland, but in the rest of the UK.”

-Nicola Sturgeon


“An evening without kebab is a bird without wings.”

-Salvador Dali


“All you have to do is eat one true kebab. Eat the truest kebab that you know.”

-Ernest Hemingway


“Red cabbage in a kebab??

I had rather chop this hand off at a blow,

And with the other fling it at thy face.”

-William Shakespeare, Henry VI


“The position of the kebab in the Geographical Pivot of History is well known.”

-Halford Mackinder


“Greece’s future in the Eurozone is dependent on its kebab output.”

-Angela Merkel


“You look foreign, do you make kebabs?”

-HRH Prince Philip


“Frodo! You must cast the kebab into the fires of Mount Doom. Only then will Middle Earth be saved.”

-Gandalf, The Lord of the Rings

Sir Halford 'Big Macka' Mackinder. Geopolitician and kebab enthusiast.



2 thoughts on “Famous Kebab Quotes

  1. Pingback: Kebab Quotes Part II - The Dr Döner Guide To Berlin KebabsThe Dr Döner Guide To Berlin Kebabs

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